That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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