He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
