I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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