OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
