WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
