If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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