I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
