actually, I'm a sock model
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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