but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
