Non-Jews are for practice
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
