who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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