her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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