you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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