I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Randomize
