haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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