I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize