I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
