Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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