1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
