What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
