We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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