So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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