you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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