Yo dont text me then not text me
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We are all done wearing pants today
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
