By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
