I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
