i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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