you guys were way drunker than both of me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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