weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
