guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
