Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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