Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I will pee on everything he values.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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