even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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