Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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