im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
