She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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