why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
