Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
