I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Randomize