So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
