there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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