FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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