i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize