apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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