Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
