How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
