I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
