he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
