oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
