Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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