I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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