i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
