She said her name was "party"
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
birth control should be required to get into college
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
