Will you blow on my dice?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
