we're blogging at a bar
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
