she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
