What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
