exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
