Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
