Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
