They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
