sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
